It’s morning and it’s time to get ready for work;
But I don’t feel like it.
I roll out of bed sluggishly turning back, wishing my sheets will pull me back in.
Standing in the shower, feeling the water on my skin;
The warmth sends me into a spiral of thoughts and immediately I cower in the corner of the bath.
It brings back memories of days long gone and days I wish never happened.
I know where this is leading and my world has darkens;
I fight the urge to go along that path;
My mind has already fallen deep into the pain, it’s too late.
It’s become a lost cause, this is my fate;
And I still don’t feel like stepping out.
I stand up and sigh deeply, it’s morning and I need to get to work.
IT’S THE WEEKEND!!!
I’M BOUT TO BE OUT WITH MY GIRLS PARTYING IT WILD.
GOT MY HAIR DONE, MY NAILS DONE, MY SHOE GAME ON TIGHT!
WE ARE GONNA THROW IT DOWN LIKE NEVER BEFORE!
TRUST US WE DON’T PLAY AND WE’LL BE THE LAST ONES OUT THE DOOR!!
THE MUSIC IS BLARING AND MY BODY IS MOVING;
I FEEL THE VIBRATIONS AS WE LEAVE THE BAR IN RUINS;
A DRINK HERE, A DRINK THERE;
LIQUID COURAGE HAS ME SPINNING AND FEELING ALL KIND OF THINGS!
THE NIGHT IS OVER BUT I DON’T WANT THE FEELING TO EVER STOP.
I’M GIDDY AND JUMPY AND MY NIGHT HAS JUST BEGUN;
I NEVER WANT THIS TO END!!!
I’m on the phone with my friend;
Seems like the party was all in my head.
I’m in the car heading to work;
I honestly don’t feel like it, my head feels like war zone.
She’s suggesting I call in sick,
But is it worth it? I can’t tell a lie;
I’m at work but in my car still.
I try to find my happy, but that emotion seems far;
I look in the mirror and I see myself-
An empty shell, a beaten fraction of myself.
Time to brave the world with a smile,
But I don’t feel like it because I lost my child.
-Bewaji Adeniji