James (not real name) would always wonder why he had the kind of thoughts he had. What kind of human thinks about murdering others in cold blood or obsessively thinks about jumping into the lagoon knowing fully well he can’t swim? These thoughts plagued James’s mind and led him to live a more secluded life. Maybe it would hinder him from ever getting to cause harm to the people around him. Of course he was too ashamed to tell anyone.
There’s also Emma’s story (mind.org.uk) whose obsessive compulsion tells her there should be three pieces of cutlery in each section of the dishwasher. Including the countless number of persons who can’t but just arrange their room in a particular manner or have to wash their hands as many times as possible. A general truth about OCD is that it’s always thought to be part of one’s nature. The thought patterns are usually quite clever, convincing, realistic and reasonable such that the only explanation would be that they’re your own thoughts. Nevertheless, these “thoughts/ compulsions” also called OCD aren’t yours they’re hidden somewhere in your brain pretending to be yours. To claim them as yours would be to claim something that isn’t yours.
When you become compelled to have to do something repeatedly(obsessively) even when you don’t want to, it’s not you anymore, it’s the OCD. Then it introduces his favourite twin brother ‘consequence’ into the picture. It’s also quite clever and an experienced blackmailer. Telling you how your thoughts would become a reality if you let anyone in on them. It says if you dare let anyone in, they’d see you for who you really are. Funny thing is the person it claims you are is in fact them, not you. Like I said, it’s a master blackmailer.
James was plagued with obsessive thoughts for over 10 years thinking that was who he was. Just like the many who suffer from OCD who might sometimes wonder why people don’t see things from their own perspective. Why doesn’t everyone wash their hands as often as they do? OCD is an illness people usually don’t know they have until they’re diagnosed with it. Research has shown that both the structure of the brain and communication from neurotransmitters are displayed differently in OCD victims. Those thoughts and compulsions do not define you. They’re just different entities to who you are.
As a matter of fact, they’re just thoughts and compulsions until you attach meaning to them. Truth is James isn’t a murderer, has never murdered anyone and is often repulsed by intrusions so would never murder anyone. He won’t also jump into a lagoon, he loves his family and there isn’t a lagoon close to where he lives. Nothing would happen to Emma if she leaves her blinds open. The thoughts are just thoughts until you give them meaning. The compulsions aren’t you. Yes, you experience them but they’re not you. You shouldn’t let it make you feel it’s who you are now. If in the process you begin to feel overwhelmed by the thoughts and compulsions, you can always reach out to us at MANI.
Please always remember that having OCD doesn’t make you a dysfunctional person, you’re just a special beautiful soul and you can get through this.
-Praise