“I have met many, many severely distressed people whose daily lives are filled with the agony of both remembered and unremembered trauma, who try so hard to heal and yet who are constantly being pushed down both by their symptoms and the oppressive circumstances of post-traumatic life around them.”
– Carolyn Spring
When something happens to us, people tend to tell us to just forget about it and move on. As if doing that is truly easy, especially not with the human mind that has the ability to remember every single detail of every painful experience ever felt. The term ‘Trauma’ has oftentimes been misunderstood. It is the outcome of an extremely stressful event that affects our sense of security and certainty. The event could be anything from a physical injury to experiencing the death of a loved one, being raped or molested as a child, verbal and physical abuse, or even surviving a war. No matter the event, the one common feature is that the thoughts are overwhelming, and they heighten one’s sense of insecurity.
Traumatic experiences makes one feel like their entire world has not only crumbled, but has also lost it’s meaning. It affects ones mood any time the memories come flooding back. Most times, what follows suit is that our mind tries to understand what has happened and in that process switches on its survival mode. The mind’s typical survival mode is to protect its bearer at all cost, and this can manifest itself in form of separation from other people, engaging in substance abuse to repress the memories, and other seemingly erratic behaviours.
It is completely natural for our minds to try to make sense of trauma by trying to make us believe funny (or not so funny) things about others, ourselves, or even plunge us into a confused state because it wants to keep us safe. At different points, we could hear different voices in our heads when we find ourselves in a situation that reminds us of a certain traumatic incident. Sometimes, this voice tends to rationalise the situation, but more often, it is a loud voice in our head that drowns every other thing out, and sometimes, it is unbearable.
More often than not, people embrace avoidance as a solution to dealing with mental health issues but it doesn’t solve it. To cope with the mind’s protection mechanism (voices in the head), a change in perspective is needed. First you need to not hate yourself for having these voices. See them from a different point of view that they’re there to protect you rather than to haunt you and you deserve that protection. After acceptance, the next step is learning to manage these voices so that they don’t rule the course of your life completely.
Traumatic symptoms/memories can last from a few days to months, fading away as time goes on. It doesn’t completely disappear and could still come back when you feel better but that’s only normal. In the event that you’re unable to move past that event even after a long while, you may be experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD. Either way, the following tips might help you heal from trauma.
Avoid Being Alone– Stay around people that you feel safe with and try to have fun with them. Creating new memories can help to slowly override the memory of the traumatic event.
Exercise Regularly– Exercising regularly not only improves the physical health but the mental health as well. When both mental and physical health are well taken care of, a good atmosphere for healing from trauma is created.
Talk to someone– Sometimes, dealing with a traumatic situation on your own can get overwhelming. Talk to someone you trust about what you have been through. Talking in itself can be therapeutic.
Practice self care– Listen to your body and take care of it. Eat healthy food, sleep well, read books you enjoy, take strolls to clear mind. Neglecting your wants and needs by distracting yourself will only ensure the trauma festers.
Time coupled with these tips can help the healing process come along well. But, if the symptoms still persist you need to talk to a professional (therapist). When nothing seems to make it go away, and you only find yourself getting consumed by the trauma, reach out to a professional. The fear of being criticised for holding on to traumatic memories for so long can hinder one from speaking up. But, it should not stop you from reaching out for help. It doesn’t matter if you have been dealing with the trauma for five months or five years, reach out for help when you can no longer handle it alone.
We at MANI offer free counselling services, and we will love to listen to you and help, just reach out to us. You don’t have to deal with your trauma alone, and it should not consume you.
–Praise
Nice read….
A good read.