Hello, I’m depression.
The one that makes your mascara stain your eyelids, as tears perpetuate your eyes;
Or maybe you wish to deny me that, I make you punch walls in hopelessness.
I’m the one that makes your lips deprive your belly of food,
Reducing you to bones and more bones;
Or maybe I take shape in being the one that plunges your belly with carbon filled particles,
Making your body sag in flesh and more flesh.
I’m the one that sings tunes of imperfection to your ears,
The one that reminds you of the ills you’re being met with.
I’m the one that delivers you friends in cuts and lacerations,
The one that erodes your sanity.
I’m the one that gives you plastic smiles that melt away when I remind you of your worthlessness.
The one that makes you avoid people,
Or the one that makes you erode people into your life, making them fill up your time,
But ultimately they fail you, and I return.
I’m the one you try to deny a voice,
The one you refuse to call by its name.
I’m the one that makes you stare at the ropes, knives, blades, racing cars, balconies… With a longing.
The one that ebbs out glee and hilarity from your shores, as I eddy in anguish and melancholia.
I’m the one you wish to be rid of,
The one you scream at, pray against, even beseech to be made absent.
I’m the one you try to drown out with endless outpourings of alcohol,
Or with stick after stick of wrapped cannabis,
Or do you proceed further and acquaint yourself with white powders on your nose, or injections on your arms?
I’m the one that remains solid with you, even when you betray me and seek my end,
I’m that friend that you know is your ride or die, your sure pillar.
Hello, I’m depression.
Excel Adeogun
Bio:
Excel Adeogun is a graduate of Botany from the University of Lagos. He is the author of the poetry anthology— positions. He is a foodie and an aspiring chef, a vocalist and music
enthusiast, and an aspiring model. He lives in Lagos with his family.
Social media:
IG: iam_akelaah